My inspiration..

I want to start by letting you know this because of you, my life has a purpose. you helped be who i am today. I see myself in every word you say..
Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, I trapped in a world where everyone hates me where  there's so much that I'm going through..
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you

I was broken, choking, lost
I was bleeding, stopped believing and could have died  
I was down, drowning
but you came on just in time..

Sometimes I feel like you've known me forever..
You always know how to make me feel better.
Because of you my dad and me are so much closer than we used to be.
You're my escape when I'm stuck in a small town
you let me know like no one else that it's ok to be myself..

to you, out there.

 

hey you.

yes, you. stop being unhappy with yourself. you are perfect.

stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people

liked you as much as they like someone else. stop trying to get

attention from those who hurt you. stop hating your body, your

face, your personality, your quirks, love them. without those

things, you wouldn't be you and why would you want to be

anyone else? be confident with who you are, smile. it'll draw

people in. if anyone hates on you because you are happy with

yourself then you stick your middle finger in the air and say

"screw it. my happiness will not depend on others anymore.

i'm happy because i love who i am. i love my flaws, i love my

imperfections. they make me, me, and me is pretty amazing."

Broken

Always thought someday you would notice me more than friends and you would see me differently..
Then I heard you're so in love with her.. and now where am I..

I'm so crushed..
'cause I always thought that it would be the two of us and I'm dying inside every time I see you walking hand in hand with her..
It just makes me cry and my tears don't seem to dry..         

Used to be, you couldn't wait to talk to me, you would tell your secrets, you would
share your dreams and you would tell me everything..
but now it's her who gets to be your girl..

I was getting up the nerve to finally tell you all the things I feel for you but now everything is wrong the chance is gone. She's come along and ripped my dreams in two </3

Its when :)

The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and bestfriends.
Its when you have more playful moments than serious moments.
Its when you can joke around, have unexpected hugs and random kisses.
Its when you two give each other that specific stare and just smile :)
Its when you will rather chill inside to watch movies, eat junk foods, and cuddle than go out all the time. Its when you'll stay up all night just to settle your arguments and problems. Its when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are.

Have you ever..

Have you ever
Laid on your bed all night and just cried?
Cried because you're ugly. Because you're not good enough.
You counted all you flaws from head to toe to punish and feel worse about yourself.
Cried because the comments people blurt out, actually hurt your feelings, cried because your family is dysfunctional, but you're just a kid who cant do shit about it, they tell you to stop complaining, that you have it much better than the kids in Africa?
You dont want to be burden, so you bottle it all up.
Around people, you're the happiest ray of sunshine,
but nobody knows, that at night when you're alone, you break down and just cry :')

Terrified.

When you lose someone, someone you love, when they break your heart, its the hardest feelings you could ever go through and no matter how much time has passes, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but then you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest, you fall apart, for the hundredth time and you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all your heart, even though you know you should not. They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt, they stole your happiness but yet, you still want them and only them. Other people come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you dont want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would and even if they broke all their promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that, you're terrified.. terrified of getting hurt again. but its not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you are still thinking about the person who has left you completely broken. You dont want to miss them anymore, you dont want to love them anymore, but you know you always will.

Its okay :s

"Its okay"
I have the tendency to always say this when someone apologizes to me. Even when its not okay, I still say it. Why? Because I dont want to push the situation further and further. I dont want to make it worse than it has to be. but you know what? Its not okay. what you did, its not okay and Im not gonna pretend that it is anymore. I know that sometimes its best to forgive and forget, but sometimes maybe its best to just forget.

Self motivation.

Dear sister in Islam..
We know its hard. We know you look at the pictures of the models and the celebrities and wonder why you cant look like them? We know it hurts to sometimes refrain yourself from plucking those brows or to put on that hijab and abaya.

We know it gets hard to walk outside with no make up on, with your natural face, thinking its not good enough and all of your flaws are showing. You know what else we know? We know you're beautiful, regardless of yourself.

We know that even the slightest inclination of pleasing Allah in yourself increases that beauty ten-fold and we know that when Allah finds you beautiful, its all that matters. You're not doing this for the world, remember? You're not even doing it for yourself :)

Imagine your beauty on the Day of Qiyamah (day of judgement) when your face would be glowing and radiant with noor (light), when you would enter Jannah (heaven) and be more beautiful than the hoor and you would realize that it was this world really wasnt worth the drool.

With Love.

Tad-da!

Hey guys, wow it’s been a while now. I totally don’t get a chance to post something in my blog since I am too busy with my works. Well yeah, I am officially a busy woman now.

But I don’t mind since making myself busy is the only way for me to avoid myself from over thinking and sadness =)

People keep wondering, why the hell am I cutting my hair? 

I don’t think I shud explain about the reason why because it is more into family sorta stuffs.

I guess Im tired of having a long curly hair which made me look like a total idiot. I have no confidence in myself anymore. So Ive decided to cut them off.

There’s no question in my head or any regrets of having a new hair thou cause Im happy with myself now. My confidence are level up, I feel fresh and young.

For some of the people who thought like this hair of mine, didn’t suits me? That’s fine. Yeah seriously =) Cause who cares anyway. People will still judge me for who I am.

And  I wud probably say, mind your own business.