♥

Jangan di sesali masa lalu. Lupakan.

Hari ini hari baru. Setiap hari yang bakal di lalui akan ada cerita baru,

episod baru dan buku baru dalam hidup.

Bersedialah dengan kekuatan mental dan tenaga untuk menghadapi apa yang akan di lalui dalam hidup agar ia akan lebih bermakna dalam hidup dari mengenang dan kesal dengan masa lalu.

Pelangi Fm, Thankyou :) ♥

31

Why do I keep saying he is the one
When he has already shown me
He is not

Im slowly giving up.....

Do you think of me
as much as I think about you?

Pain is never permanent, Loneliness is such a bitter pill..

Im not afraid to try again,
Im just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason

Its you, Its always been you.

Love the heart that hurts you
but never hurt the heart that loves you...

 ♥♥

Short update

Guys! Its been a while and I havnt update my blog since the 21st december :(
So far, my birthday was great although I didnt celebrate them :)
New year is coming and I really cant wait to go to school with my sunburn face! Hahahaha

Today will be consider as the best day ever :P
I went to Bandar just now at Time Square to meet my mama Sakdiah. Hehe
Since last day was my birthday so she decided to treat me that night. We were shopping all the way.
She bought me bracelets, necklace and more.
Thanks mama, Iloveyou! :)  ♥

Later night, I'll be celebrating the new year eve with my family at Seria which will be held at grandpa's crib :D
Wuw, its gonna be so much fun. No bouncer but thats okay :P I dont really mind
as long as they got the karoke thingy. Hahaha
And also dont forget, the BBQ! Hehehehe

Facebook is getting really lame and the people's status pissed me off.
Numbers, status chat. Ergh.
Im getting really annoyed.
Fuck it all. 30th december 2010

2.11

Hey, Im currently listening to Brunei songs and chat with few people. Ewan, Anyalep, Alimin and Bewin. Such a boring day~
Oh, this 4th december ada Teen Idol final competition yang top 10 at Bridex Hall. Argh, seriously I want to come but at the same time on 4th december ne ada invitation birthday party. Aaaa, clash :( But I'll figure it out cemana kan datang for both functions.
Someone get annoyed, cause Ive turn on the radio on its maximum volume dalam bilik. Hahaha :P

Ah, and my bedroom ada new furniture. Its awesome! :D I just like it. Last night kana simpan dalam bilik and I started decorating them. Nightclub city sucks. Drop bass requires 10 energy than usual. It was supposed to be 2 energy but uh, I just dont know!

Aaaaaaa! I cant believe this. Last night I was chatting in this website. Asiafreechat and then chat punya chat, someone text me up private. Guess who? My exboyfriend from Temburong. Hahah, now he stays in Tutong and working in Belait. A security. Lol, then ea minta my phone number. Hahaha, its funny how we guys contact balik after few years. Kami couple masa friendster dulu. HAHA, ani baru tejumpa. He said he lost my number yata nada contact. Hahahahaah, apaaakan :P

Later night, mama membadak urang kawin and aku menggambar, Idk whether kan ikut or inda cause macam Im kinda lazy to go but got nothing to do at home. Entah la, I'll think about that later~

Too many things happened, and ah 1 more thing! Its about Bolhie.
Today was supposed to be our 4th monthsary but he left. Then kami berinbox.
We were talking about 2nd december and I ask him if he still remember about that. Then ea macam regret and I see his status sounds like this. No matter what, I want her back.
But I dont think its about me, maybe for his other exgirlfriend kali. So, forget it.

Lep invited me to join his group called, Blackdyingcore. An emo group. They'r friendly to people and bla bla. HAHA, I dont feel like joining in especially tah emo segala and core to the core and whatsoever it is. Its LAMEEEEEEhhh! :S Hehehe.

Guess thats all so Byeeeeez. ♥

27

Heyaa. Whatsup? Im currently watching AXN. Wipeout baby!
Hahah :P Before that, I was watching Kimora and Amazing Race.
Tomorrow ada party at Seria. Cant wait for that since its my last day in STAR.
And oh yeah, I got grade C. But thats okay.
Erm, what else? Ah! Ive just received an invitation birthday party card
for babyqah and Raziq's 6th and 4th birthday on 4th december which is going to be held at zyra's crib.
Right now, Im watching 'So you think you can dance?'
Wohoo, I cant miss this part! So be right back. Will update later. Bye ♥

Im back! Aaaaaah, im so obses of this guy in the tv show right now. His name is Nathan and he's smoking hot! Ergh! :P

Loveyou Nathan! Heheheh. ♥

Now Im currently chattin with 'someone' Naah, Im not going to mention his name here but for sure he's my friend :) He's nice, funny and he's good at cheering me up and that makes me love to share all my problems with him since he's a good listener and advicer too :D
We've been a good friends since Im with my exboyfriend, Rypeen and after I broke up with him, we lost contact. Now that I broke up with Bolhie, we're back in contacting to each other.

Sooooooooooooo, anyway next. Ergh, Its getting really lame for me for those who talk or text like "Sasak kali kau eh!" "Cam baie!" Apatah tu? Macam egh, so annoying :) Bidaa.
OH, this tuesday 30th November sign record. Wish me luck guys. Mudahan dapat markah yang cemerlang. Amen~.

So goodnight everyone. Sleep well and sweetdreams :)
Peace and love ♥

Me now.

Refa Zawanah is no longer listed as in a relationship..

Yeah, thats right. I just broke up with him and the last thing he said to me was,
Fa, for your own good, I let you go. I loveyou and goodbye.
Simple, isnt it? :)

Just like that :) AHAH.
Now tell me how hurt I am at that time? Heh, nobody care.
Yes, I know this is what I want which was stated on my previous post right? But this is not the way how I wanted it to be end! Fuck :)
Yee, Im cool.. And I know I should move on.

I cried hard, my eyes were surrounded red and puffy.
Its easy to let you go but, I miss what we had before. He used to tell me he loved me, but now he hardly ever even says hey. I just cant forget you :( But thats okay. I'll try..

And this quotes really makes me realize something.

"Dont be so quick to give your heart away because someone will take it and throw it away." Ashiquaye Hammond.

"Never make someone your everything, because if you lose them, you have nothing." Taylor Feye.

Why is life so cruel?

Tomorrow,
Dad's going home and Im going to meet Bolhie, InsyaAllah.

Huh, Im still not in a good mood right now. I dont know what I should do. Im blank.
I cant stop crying thinking about myself, I wonder, why I cant be like them? Like the other teenagers?
Is it because Im still young and not that old enough? Come on mom, dad. You surely know what It feels like me, when you're in your teenage life old years back? Right?

I wanna be like them, I just wanna have fun. I dont want this annoying and lame 'on mama papa's back' life. Please :/ I want FREEEEEEEEEE! Just free.

Your daughter need you guys to let her go and fly. Not living a life in a prison. I dont want this life mom, dad :( Please understand me, understand how I feel and what I really wanted. Thats all I need.  

After that incident, Im not sure if I still can be me. Im not sure if things going to be normal like it used to be. I dont have anyone to be on my back while Im in pain, while Im in need. :')
Im tired of being tired and Im sick of being sick.
These days, I rarely smile and maybe I should just give a fake smile instead :')
I really miss my smile and those laughter..

I felt like a jerk for not being strong enough to face all of this. So, Fuck it all..

Too much to tell

Ive got a lot to say all in my head.

Im weak, Im tired. And cold.

Refa zawanah Too much stories to tell but had no one to share with.

about an hour ago .Like 19 .Comment 2

I cant find myself. I dont know who I am :'(

I dont know what I want and what I need. Im lost, Ya Allah..

I hate mylife but I know I have to move on and not to give up..

Besfriends, I really hope that they can hear my stories like I always did to them. Be a good listener and advicer. Where were them when I need them the most? :(

Mom, I dont feel like I can share my stories with you anymore, Im confused. I dont know, it feels like you never know how I actually feel :'(

Dad, I guess you never wanted to treat me like Im your own daughter.

I had no one,

I dont write diaries and I only share my secrets with Tommy; My beloved cat.

Im still young to face all of this, I just wanna have fun :'(

Too much problems stucked in my head and I burried all the emotions by myself and let it hurt me.

Now tell me how can I handle all of those. Im not strong enough.

Well I guess, its time to face the truth.

Im a poor girl, and its just me against this world. Just me.

No one needs me cause Im all useless.

Everything seemed perfect and clear. Then it all changed.

I cant do this anymore../ :(

Goodmorning!

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE

Hewoooo :D Today morning, I woke up at 7.01 Am and my phone buzzez.

1 misscall from Bolhie. Haha, then I continue to sleep for few minutes.

Afterthat, I on my facebook and I received 1 inbox. Its from Qaah, she told me to check out this blog which ada gambar my friend's wedding so I turn on the computer and straight away buka blog.

Yeeee, there's alot of pictures of them. Then as usual, updating my blog. Hehe :D

Then clean up my bedroom and shower.
I eat nasi goreng and half cooked eggs for breakfast :D

Ah, and 1 more thing. My finger's hurt! And my arms too ;(

I cant even move my finger woah.

Last night's dream was weird. Really weird :/

So yeah, forget it. Update later :D

Peace and love.  

Randomzzz

Sleeping with band dudes doesnt make you famous. -Nothing personal ♥

Cut you hair. You look ridiculous ♥

Where is my vodka? ♥

But whatever you wear, dress to kill ♥

I may look calm but in my head, Ive killed you three times. ♥

Save your lies, Im not buying any of it. Not anymore. ♥

Wild hearts cant be broken. ♥

ez

Cycling. Cycling and cycling :)

 ♥

Just killed an ant.  R.I.P

Tahlil later~

I wanna eat cupcakes :3 Reallyyyyyyy.

♥♥♥♥

   Refa zawanah Things went up and down..
   4 hours ago via Mobile web .Like 8 .Comment.

                                                

♥

Everyone says that love hurts, but thats not true.

Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts,

losing someone hurts.

Everyone confuses these with love,

but in reality LOVE is the only thing in this world that

covers up all the pain & make us feel wonderful again..♥♥

I smile when my phone buzzes,
because I know its you ♥

Some guy asks me,
"What does he have that I dont?"
&& I reply,
"My heart" ♥

Goodnight, sweetdreams and sleep well everyone :)

Peace and love.

Out with my girls.

That day...

 Me and my girls (Qaah, fithri, saf and pikah) went to Bandar. Hari yang aku inda dapat lupakan :) One of the best day in my life. Kami pandu puteri so kami ne ada function ke Bandar. Kami ada project disana and alhamdulillah kami dapat sambutan yang menggalakkan :D

My assistant- Pikah
Fithri's assistant- Saf
Our model- Qaah



Went to Masjid...

Kami semua tukar baju and sembahyang except cikgu zatul, fithri and qaah sebab durang menses. Abis kami sembahyang, tarus masuk ke kerita and you-know-what?
Kami jalan ke Bandar yoooo. Hahahaah, cool :D

Watching Movies....

First seat cikgu zatul, saf, fithri, aku, qaah and pikah. It was totally fun :D

Then kami ke kadai cd and kami bali accessories couple. Aku pun bali keychain couple 2 pairs. Yang 1 pairs tu ada ukir nama ku.

Efa love Bolhie
and
Bolhie love efa.

Yang 1 pairs lagi, keychain heart yang dapat patahkan. So aku satu and Bolhie satu :)

UNI

Karoke

Dance revolution

Basketball

Then kami dalam kerita, malam tu around 11pm barutah turun dari Bandar ke kb. Akhir berabis! Cikgu antar saf dulu, then pikah and aku. Lastly si fithri and qaah.

Overall, that was really fun. Siuk dapat spend masa ramai ramai sama bestfriends :D

Rugi aku nada simpan gambar kami masa di uni. Aku ada sampat captured gambar kami sikit saja so here are some of the photos.

I love you guys!

Second day of Raya :)

Here are some of the pictures, sorry if there were some blurry photos :)

 

= HAD A GREAT TIMES

Im sorry

My stupid mouth has got me into trouble again :/

I got a friend and I dont have to mention his name here and making all things being expose. He's a guy, he's not more than a friend. Kami kenal lama, Im happy to have him as my friend. Tadi kami chat and my phone was running out of battery so aku inda charging and I didnt contact Bolhie dari tadi patang after ea offline. Pastu kami cerita cerita, have a long chat. Kami ketawa apa, making jokes, begila and then suddenly things went wrong..

Semua ne salahku. Ea macam mad berabis but he didnt show it to me. He told me how embarassing he was. He asked me if i got anything else to say and he gave me that kinda weird look. Kami baru saja beibun then kami kelaie. Seriously aku blank time tu, aku inda tau apa kan cakap.

I know its my fault tapi aku cuma mampu text sorry saja. Im speechless! Ea kata ea malu kan kelaie pasal hal remeh ne tapi malu jua kalau dibiarkan. He's trapped. :'/ Because of me! He felt like a male bitch and whatsoever it is.

Aku macam sober and I felt really guilty. I didnt mean to hurt him like that. Kami inda pernah kelaie sampai ani and then things changed so quickly! Lapastu ea decided to go then I saw his status appear offline. His last text was, menyindir aku and 'Assalamualaikum.' Aku indatau if ea offline straight away or block aku or might be remove aku! Dude, kami kelaie basar. You know how it feels to lose a friend kan.

I didnt save his number in my new cell phone, so aku inda tau cemana kan contact ea. Aku deactivate facebook  and the only way to apologize to him is through online messenger saja. Aku tnggu ea online dari tadi but before atu aku clean up the kitchen. When I look back, he's still not online. Marah lah tu, of course. I know, siapa jua inda marah kana buat cematu.

Now im the one who supposed to fell like a snobie bitch sebab aku buat salah and kau just go like that after kau marahkan aku. Muka ku macam kana umban batu bata, Im trying to smile but I absolutely cant. We shouldnt end up like this pasal hal tu. We still can discuss about it but i dont know.........

Okay, listen to me. Im sorry for what I did before, you know the reason why I did it, though and yeah I messed it all up and we all make mistakes. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but anyways I just wanted to say I really am Sorry!

1 message received

Its from Bolhie.........

He thought aku abis credit which is actually aku pnya hp was all timed switch off pasal low bat. He said that he loves me. Im a bit glad <3

Open house :D

That night on the october 4, monday..

Sambutan Hari Raya or well known as rumah terbuka at my house. All families were invited sempena hari raya yang akan berakhir. Sekajap saja rasanya raya but when it goes to bulan Ramadhan, macam lama saja kan. Haha, well thats from my opinion. That night ramai urang datang and tarus sambut Hari Jadi nini uda, my little brother Rafi and Ngangah. Surprise lah kirakan. So altogether 4 cakes. Yeah extra 1 cake. The bad news is malam tu aku jadi tukang cuci HAHAHA so yeah aku inda banyak keluar. I spend my time diluar, BORING cuci piring. Yeah thats normal for girls but hey no charge. Free? I mean, aku cuci the whole thing without upah? -.-' Mahn mahn. Haha, forget it! IKHLAS.Menyimpang dah ceritaku. HEHE So then the first family to come is my grandparents from seria, usu hajah and usu hardi, nenek amit and nenek uda. Tarus enjoy the food that night. Then tua puspa and lastly ibu. I mean, alum habis lagi. That was my family yang from my mama's side. My dad's side balum datang lagi. I only sampat captured the pictures from my mama's side, atupun inda banyak since I was busy. So here are some of the photos :D

Then when everyone's done eating. Tik tok tik tok. . . . .

SURPRISE!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..

Happy birthday to nini uda,
happy birthday to you..

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..

Happy birthday to rafi..

happy Birthday to you..

Allah selamatkan kamu, Allah selamatkan kamu..

Allah selamatkan nini and rafi..

Allah selamatkan kamu..

Panjang umurnya, panjang umurnya

Panjang umurnya serta mulia..

Serta mulia, serta mulia..

Potong kuihnya, potong kuihnya

Potong kuihnya sekarang juga..

Sekarang juga, sekarang juga!

Yeayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :D :D

The bell rings and guess whos coming? My family yang from my dad's side :D Ramai urang and ada yang sampai cari aku, mana atul mana atul? That was because aku busy dibelakang cuci piring apa. Poor me :( Then my dad saja lah yang captured durang punya gambar apa. So here's the combination of my family from both side. Very cool mahn! Pasang lagi lagu raya and everything :D :D Very very happy family or keluarga bahagia. Meriah like berabis (y)

As you know, no. I mean you didnt know. Family from my dad's side ne memang suka begambar ne. Inda hairan. Haha. Unfortunately, inda semua yang datang malam tu but thats okay. That night was still awesome without you guys. Hahahahha! :P No heart feelings. Also, forget to mention.. Anakalai ada, I mean baby irfan. Whee, I miss him loads! The hot gorgeous beefcake! Hehe :3

The End... ;)



Bestfriends

THE BESTFRIENDS, MORE LIKE SISTERS

Dorkier than a box of nerds.

Her name is NurAfiqah Qurratu Aini Binti Kambar

She's 15 years old

We smells good

Both have big round eyes

We share secrets

She's younger than me. 

She loves duck.

She's TAKEN anyway.

We're hilarious, annoying and yeah we're cool mahn :P

Break her heart, i'll break your face.

You're just jealous because we act retarted in public and people still love us..

Introducing myself.

I will kindly ask you guys to read my profile first before asking me questions like what's my name or age and stuff? It's getting really annoying. Thanks.




I am Refa Zawanah

I am 15

Lived in Kuala Belait, Brunei

I am a friendly person

Feel free to speak to me

I am studying Arts

I am nice to everyone

I play guitar

Sometimes can be emotional and sensitive

Live life easily

I talk too much

AND 
                      Laugh hard                       

  


  LIKES   
Fashion

Pizza

Jokes

Go out with my girls

Movies

Arts

Guitar

Chocolates

Quotes

Nail polish

COLOURS
                                                    

                                                  

   DISLIKES

Snobie bitches

Stupidity

Ignorance

Seafoods

Low credit balance

Lesbians

Dogs barking

Bad spellings

Slut

Big boobs

Rude people

If you love me then, Thankyou.
If you hate me then, Fuck you.
Peace and love

Add

Email- Cupcakes.efa@hotmail.com




Follow me on


Facebook- Raefa Zawanah

Twitter-   Raefarhj
Plurk- Refazawanah