Sad

I don't know if you've ever felt like you wanted to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile...I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain. Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed. When Disney World was the best place to be. Where people didn't change and your friends were the same and every time you were sad or you had a bad day, you could just run to mom and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt and no pain. Just laughter..When everyone always lives happily ever after.

I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more. Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by. I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?